Commission a commission - a guide

AKA WORKING WITH NEITH CHAINSAW CARVING

If you’ve always wanted to own a piece of our work but have never commissioned a piece of art before then we thought we’d provide this handy and, hopefully humurous, guide to splurging some of your wonga into our begging cup.

Step 1: Look at our work!

Ok, sounds simple but you’d be surprised! If you’re looking to commission a work of art then you need to see a few samples of the Diva in questions work. Don’t just look at what’s been carved but look at the style, the finish, the level of skill. Is the overall shape and proportion of the sculptures right. Can they carve Human form/animal forms with equal skill? Can they create a realistic human face or does their work look like a constipated baboon? If you were wanting a constipated baboon then go for it, that takes some rare ability

Step 2 : Work out how much you’d like to spend.

The always awkward concept of money! We hate the lucre bit, rather jettison it but just like everyone else, we need to buy underpants. Work out what you’d like to spend on the commission. It’s completely ok, in fact its beneficial, to tell an artist your budget. In general, the art that artists produce is an intrinsic part of them, in essence you’re virtually buying a body part! Treat it as a haggle or an opportunity to get the best possible price and you’ll likely get a mouldy toe. If you get a quote thats too high (which you won’t if you let us know your budget) then please reply. It’s completely ok to say it’s too expensive, provided its not said in an indignant manner. There may even be something we can do about it.  

Step 3 : Have rough idea of what you want.

It only needs to be rough, a nature based sculpture, for example, would be enough. In respect to our work, we love carving things for the first time. Most of our major works are sculptures or forms that are completely unique to what we’ve carved before. We can carve virtually anything as long as we feel inspired by the subject matter.

Step 4 : Pay a deposit.

Artist are renowned for being unstable but being an artist is unstable, financially. Our cash flows are generally all over the shop. To help counter this we work on a 50% deposit basis. It hasn’t anything to do with trust ( we think people are great, really!), it allows us to navigate the joyous voyage of feast or famine that being self employed is without hitting Category 6 Hurricanes too often.

Step 5 : Be Patient.

Sourcing suitable timber can take longer than expected. We use UK grown, sustainable sourced stuff and sometimes that makes things tricky, its the right thing to do however so we’ll carry on doing it. Producing art isn’t like changing a lightbulb. Theres no set manual or procedure to follow. This means that timeframes are guesses. Educated guesses but guesses nonetheless. We very rarely go over deadlines but sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. A saw could break and the parts are on back order. A piece of timber could be different on the inside to what was anticipated from the outside (liars!). In general we won’t be late because we’re laid back on a Carribean island, sipping rum. It will be for a valid reason.

Step 6 : Enjoy the whole process.

We’re able to provide photo and video updates on your commission on request. Artists are an odd bunch in general and so engaging with them throughout can help bonds of trust and add extra value to the carving through the connection formed.It certainly won’t be boring!